A Vivid Definition of Adolescence
by Blue-eyed Fox
Summary: Hatake Kakashi, the famous copycat ninja has problems on how he should tell a certain blonde shinobi his affections and his raging hormones aren’t helping him out at all. So what to do? Complete summary inside...
1. Prologue: Hatake Kakashi and his Dilemma

**Title:** A Vivid Definition of Adolescence

**Author:** Blue-eyed Fox

**Genre:** Romance, Comedy and General

**Rating:** Playing on R and leaning towards NC-17 for future content… (Evil giggles) Maybe…

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto. If I did, then Sakura would be dating Rock Lee after the Forest of Death incident for all its worth and Naruto would be chased by all the male Shinobis of the 'Naruto' realm.

**Warning:** Serious Yaoi content, that's **Male/Male Romance** for you! Don't like the sound of it? Just hit the "BACK" button, so you can save your virtue and sanity!

**Summary:**

Hatake Kakashi, the famous copycat ninja has problems on how he should tell a certain blonde shinobi his affections and his raging hormones aren't helping him out at all. So what to do? Call in the famous perverted author? Ask your comrades for advice? Seek help from the Godaime? Summon Pakkun? Pakkun?! What the hell!

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**Prologue: Hatake Kakashi and his Dilemma**

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Hatake Kakashi, single, twenty-six years of age, and is on top of his league. Women were in awe and would kill just to be called his. Men were envious of his somewhat successful and colorful career as a shinobi. What else could he want in his life? 

Well apparently, there is…

Ever since he was given his first team of genins to teach, he instantly knew what was indeed missing in his life. And is, for a matter of fact, suffering from what one can call "post-adolescence" stage as Tsunade delicately said so.

And what on earth is this so-called "post-adolescence" stage all about? And how on earth did the silver-haired jounin come to be in such manner? Well, letting the cat out of the bag, Hatake Kakashi is one of the most fickle to say the least in the things he did. Sure that he was one among the best in his league, but if you ask anyone in particular, only a handful can describe his mind-set in particular.

So now, we begin to ask, what is truly wrong with Hatake Kakashi? Well, to put it simply, our beloved silver-haired jounin is in-love! YES! IN-LOVE! And with whom you might ask? Simple. Hatake Kakashi, the infamous Copy-Cat Ninja, Sharingan Kakashi is in-love with bursting bubble of sunshine named…

Uzumaki Naruto.

Yes, he was in-love with his own student and him being the "_pervert_" that he is, is currently having troubles on how to woo the 18 year-old, stunningly gorgeous, drool worthy, too sexy for his own good, sex on legs, blonde Kyuubi-vessel. And why is that? Hmmm… Let's just say that the object of his affections is oh-so oblivious considering his very obvious innocent and dense nature and the fact that Naruto has 24/7, mother-hen hovering around him like a hawk ever since Naruto turned 16.

And so thus the questions of "Huh?" and "What?" come in to play. Let me explain.

Ever since Uzumaki Naruto turned sweet sixteen, shinobis and civilians alike have been eyeing Naruto like a juicy fresh piece of meat that he is. And the poor jounin has been having the time of his life restraining himself from drowning everyone who looked at the blonde boy the wrong way.

And so now, Hatake Kakashi's journey begins. Yes, a journey! A journey to capture the blonde's heart (body and soul included…).

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**- TBC -**

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**Authoress' Note:**

So, how's that for a prologue? Should I continue? Does it suck big-time? Reviews please? Pretty please? Pakkun and I will give you a cookie!


	2. The Awe Conspiring Comrades

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**Chapter 1: The Awe-conspiring Comrades**

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It was like any other day. Mission after mission coupled with a few hours of training in the training grounds. Kakashi would never trade his position as team captain to anyone. And just like any other day, team Kakashi would always part ways as they bid each other good-night.

Kakashi had to sigh. Another day has rolled by and he could not even muster enough courage to just damn everything and tell Naruto how he felt and how much he had been dying to screw the boy senseless!

So now, there he was with his comrades or better yet known as his fellow teachers at Ichiraku's…

Kakashi was absentmindedly poking and stirring through his pork miso ramen, not really paying much heed to the group's current discussion on what's up and about with their respective teams. Kakashi was too busy gloating and trying to think of ways to just spill it that he didn't even notice Asuma waving a hand to call his attention.

"OI! KAKASHI!" Asuma raised his voice slightly as he lightly smacked the side of Kakashi's head.

"Oh, sorry my bad, what were you saying?" Kakashi asked, although his train of thought was slightly off track, again…

"We were asking if you were alright. You were spacing out." Kurenai said.

"RIVAL KAKASHI! IT SEEMS YOU ARE HAVING A DILEMMA! TELL US MY DEAR COMRADE AND WE WILL SEE WHAT WE CAN DO TO HELP!"

"I think Gai is right. Is something wrong? You know you can tell us." Kurenai said as she looked thoughtfully at Kakashi.

Kakashi let out a deep sigh as he turned to look around at the almost deserted Ramen Bar.

"This is just between the four of us you hear?" Kakashi said with a promise of a slow and painful death if a word slips out. The trio nodded as they waited for Kakashi to continue. Kakashi took another deep breath and finally said,

"I'm in love."

Asuma, Kurenai and Gai looked Kakashi as if he had grown another head before reality brought them back to earth as the sound of a chair falling back to ground knock the rest of the group back to their senses.

"I KNEW IT! THE FLAMES OF YOUTH BURNS STRONG IN YOUR BLOOD RIVAL KAKASHI! TELL US WHO THE LUCKY GIRL IS!"

"Gai, do you always have to say everything in caps. We're not deaf mind you. Anyway, just what like Gai said, who's the girl?" Asuma said as he blew out smoke.

"Or better yet, who's the lucky man?" Kurenai piped in. All eyes were on her. Kakashi looked surprised as the other two stared dumbfounded. Kurenai brushed off the stares directed at her as she focused back on Kakashi.

"So? It's a guy isn't it? I hit the bull's eye didn't I?" Kurenai mused with an unknown twinkle danced on her eyes.

"How did you know?" Kakashi warily asked the brunette woman.

"The signs are there. Plus, you haven't even gone out with a single kunoichi in the village and even though you have that _bible_ of yours with you all the time, that doesn't hide the fact that swing the other way."

**STRIKE 1!**

The three men were in awe at Kurenai's wise words.

"What? I'm a fangirl." And with that, their jaws hit the table. Who would've thought?

**STRIKE 2!**

"So Kakashi, do you mind telling us who caught your fancy?" Kurenai continued with barely hidden glee. Kakashi looked at the skeptically before continuing with the twirling of the noodles in bowl.

"Okay, so that means we have to guess." Asuma said finally recovering from his shock.

The group sent the first five minutes giving out names as Kakashi either rolled his eyes, snorted or shook his head and every now and then, giving a comment or two about the name of the person mentioned.

"Is it Genma?" Kurenai asked.

"Genma has the thing for a certain academy teacher. And that said academy teacher is oblivious to his advances." Kakashi casually said.

"I see. Could it be that you're also interested in this certain academy teacher? It's Iruka isn't it?" Gai mentioned as he placed his chin on top of his knuckles.

Kakashi looked horrified.

"Gai, I would be spending more time sleeping on the couch than I do 'molesting', 'snogging' and 'screwing' the object of my affection if it were Iruka. Nevertheless, Iruka is a dire threat to my precious books." Gai, Kurenai and Asuma sweatdropped at the comment, for the fact that it was so terribly true that the said man would incinerate all of Kakashi's _precious_ books to nothing more but ashes if given the chance.

"Give us a clue then." Asuma piped in. Kakashi thought for a moment as he took small sips of his water.

"He's younger than me."

All of them went silent in thought as Kurenai broke the silence.

"It's Uzumaki Naruto isn't it?" Kurenai deadpanned.

**HOMERUN!**

Kakashi chocked on his drink as Asuma's and Gai's eyes almost bugged out of their sockets. Kurenai just grinned. If Kakashi hadn't had a mask on, one would see how perfectly he imitated a goldfish. Some copy-cat ninja he is.

"How can you…" Gai stared.

"How did you…" Asuma stared some more.

"Is it that obvious?" Kakashi stated still in shock.

"Well, it's definitely not one of our boys, and you've been hanging out with him even after your team's training."

"Ugh…" Kakashi groaned as he rubbed his face with both hands.

"Then what's wrong? Why don't you just tell him? Considering that Naruto probably dances to the same tune?" Kurenai asked.

"I'm his sensei damn it."

"Technically, ex-sensei since, it's no longer Team 7 but Team Kakashi. Therefore, you're like the captain of the team." Asuma countered.

"Asuma is correct rival Kakashi! The binds that hold you back from pursuing such youthful relationship is no longer there to hold you back from pursing the youthful Naruto!"

"Okay, okay, you guys win this part of the argument but you're forgetting the biggest problem here." Kakashi seriously said.

"And that would be?"

"Naruto has an overly protective guardian who watches over him 24/7…" Kakashi groaned once more.

Silence loomed as realization hit Asuma and Kurenai.

"That's not a problem Kakashi! Just ask permission from Naruto's guardian!"

"Gai, you forget who keeps an eye on Naruto like hawk." Kurenai sheepishly said with sympathy directed at Kakashi.

"What do you mean?"

"What Kurenai means is that Iruka stands as father, brother and _mother _figure to Naruto-kun."

"In other words, the _**almighty mother hen**_ has been keeping an eye out on Naruto." Kakashi deadpanned.

"Cheers…" And the three knowing teachers raised their glasses.

"I still don't get it." Gai said in complete confusion.

"Gai, I mean, you have noticed just how much Naruto has changed right?" Kurenai said as Gai nodded his head as he tried to follow through.

"And I'm sure you've noticed the growing number of fans that would put a shame on Hyuuga Neji and Uchiha Sasuke's fan club." Kurenai said in 'as a matter of fact' tone that made Kakashi wince.

"Sorry Kakashi." Kurenai apologized.

"What are you sorry for?"

"Wait, wait!" Gai interrupted followed by a brief pause before continuing. "Naruto-kun has fans!?!"

"Yes Gai, Naruto has fans. And don't be sorry Kurenai. I'm sure Kakashi is secretly one of them." Asuma said as he took a puff off his cigarette. Kurenai thought for a moment and nodded her head in agreement.

"Kakashi, I've always known that you're a pervert but this is a new level! Stalking, spying-"

"And probably even molesting the sweet, poor innocent teen. How could you Kakashi!" Asuma chided and teased the poor jounin.

"I do NOT stalk, spy nor molest Naruto!" Good thing Kakashi was wearing a mask for he had the decency to blush. Of course the accusations were _slightly_ true but hell like he was going to admit to it.

"Yeah, yeah, of course you don't." Asuma sarcastically said. Kurenai waved the two off as she butted in.

"So now we know who your love interest is and what seems to be bothering you, we'll help you out! Are you with us here Gai?" Kurenai was grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"Of course I am! Who am I to pass in witnessing such a youthful part Kakashi's life?!" Gai said as tears flowed and did a nice guy pose.

"_Oh, dear sweet Kami! What the hell have I gotten myself into?!" _Kakashi mentally cried as the group listened to Kurenai and Gai's plans and _strategies_ in wooing the blue-eyed blonde.

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**- TBC -**

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**Authoress' Note:**

Thanks for the reviews and sorry for the late update. Blame my muse for the lack of better inspiration and ideas and her frequent hibernations…

For now, all I can say is that there might be a lemon (hopefully) at the end of the story. So, here are your cookies, Oreos and milk.


	3. Icha Icha Tactics

**Authoress' Note:**

Remember the crow in the episode where Naruto said that he curious about how Kakashi looked like without that darned mask? Well you'll need to remember the sound it made for one part of this fic.

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**Chapter 2: Icha-Icha Tactics**

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"So… do you mind telling us how the two of you ended up being tied up-side down that tree?" Kurenai asked as she bit her lip trying hard not to let the mirth escape from her lips as she watched Asuma and Gai dangle limply from where they were tied. From the looks of it, they looked liked they were almost beaten to death.

"I swear… I will never be… at the receiving end of Mother Nature's wrath…ever…again…" Asuma managed to say in between labored breaths. He was sporting lump after lump of bumps on his head and various bruises and scratches on his arms and face. His clothes were dirty and torn in various places which looked like he had just come out of a vicious battle. Gai was no exception either who was currently sporting the same injuries along with a black eye and swollen right cheek.

"And you! Where were you! You had better be sure that you had scored a point with Naruto! You owe us big time Kakashi!" Asuma said as he shot a glare at the uninjured jounin who was standing beside Kurenai. Kakashi cringed inwardly; the visible part of his face showed an apologetic look mixed with trepidation and concern for his comrades.

"Who would have thought that the fiery flames of youth flowed like the Tigris River in the veins of Iruka-san?" Gai managed to blurt out happily. Kakashi, Asuma and Kurenai looked at him disbelievingly and wondered if Iruka had hit him one too many times in the head.

"I should definitely challenge him one of these days to keep the flames of youth burning in Konoha!"

"_Yup, he definitely suffered more than just one concussion to the head…"_ It was amusing to say how the same thought was flying in three different minds at that moment…

"But really, how did the two of you ended up as you are now?" Kurenai asked again as she and Kakashi cut them down and helped them to rest on the poor innocent tree as they let the two begin to explain the horrifically pleasant details on how their day went…

**- FLASHBACK -**

It was such a beautiful day in the peaceful village of Konoha no Sato. And like any other day, this day was no exception for the hordes of fan-girls and BOYS who were trying to get a glimpse or better yet, a piece of a certain, blue-eyed, blonde boy's ass namely, Uzumaki Naruto. It was a Saturday and normally, Saturday's were market days. So here was the oblivious teen making his rounds as he shopped for weekly supplies around Konoha's busy streets.

So to speak, Team Icha-Icha Fox, as Gai had conclusively named the group much to the other three's censure, followed which was more like spied on Naruto as he casually made it around Konoha.

"Kakashi, stop ogling at him and start taking notes!" Kurenai hissed.

"Why am I supposed to take notes? I'm not Jiraiya dammit!" Kakashi hissed back.

"So that you'll know what he likes. Take note of the things he buys from the stores." Kurenai glared. "Don't worry, I had Gai and Asuma do some look out and distracting if ever something happens."

"What do you mean 'if something happens'?" Kakashi asked suspiciously.

"Are you questioning me Hatake Kakashi?" Kurenai glared venomously at Kakashi loomed over him, promising the silver-haired jounin impending doom. Kakashi sweatdropped and scuttled slowly away from Kurenai as he shook his head.

"_Asuma, you will always have my prayers when you end up with this woman."_ Kakashi thought silently as he brought up his hands in front of him.

"Oh look, look!" Kurenai almost squealed as they looked towards where Naruto was currently purchasing fruits. The two watched as Naruto chatted with the female store keeper who was in her late 40's. Naruto smiled beautifully at the woman making her blush and have that starry eyed look in her face. The image of Naruto smiling like he just did was a vision of complete innocence, a vision of beauty in midsummer's day. His smile was so genuine that it could make anyone who sees it forget all their worries and make anyone's heart skip a beat. In other words, he was the perfect paradigm of a runway model that could get a perfect score on any given day.

Kurenai herself was starry eyed when he she saw Naruto flash that sweet smile. Apparently, Kakashi and Kurenai weren't the only onlookers who were currently _spying_ on Naruto, his growing fan-club were also there following him in hopes of getting him _cornered_.

"Oi Kakashi, you better move your ass if you want to at least score some decent points with that blonde cause his fans are definitely going in for the kill anytime soon." Asuma voiced over their communicators.

"What do you mean 'going in for the kill'?" Kakashi was somehow getting a bad vibe when he heard those words.

"It seems like Naruto-kun's fans also include some highly adept shinobi." Kurenai answered as she flicked her eyes from Naruto to the group of spying shinobis'.

Kakashi quickly looked at Asuma and Gai's direction which was surprisingly near a group of what it seemed like off duty Jounins. Wait a minute; did he just see Ebisu and Anko in that group? Now just hold on a second…were those other guys ANBU?

"Asuma, Gai we need to switch to Plan B. We won't be able to corner Naruto in this situation." Kurenai said.

"Plan B? I don't remember anything about having a Plan B." Gai said as he switched to thinking pose trying to recall what they had planned the night before.

"Now that you've mentioned it, aren't we just supposed to watch him and see what he does on his day off?" Asuma said as he took a puff out his cigarette. _"This is so troublesome."_ Asuma quoted silently to himself. He didn't dare mention that one aloud for the fear of having to use clutches to make his 'happiness' stick up.

Back on the rooftop, Kakashi decided to remain silent. After all, he was right beside the Genjutsu Mistress and he didn't want to die or suffer any bodily harm that could confine him in the hospital for more than a month. Time is of the essence and he wouldn't dare waste any of it lying down in one of those stiff hospital beds wearing those dreadful hospital garbs that the patients usually wore. Oh no, no, no, no, no…he needed all the time to woo the blue-eyed blonde.

Shaking himself back to reality, Kakashi could see the vein throbbing on Kurenai's forehead as the other two rambled about not having a Plan B in the first place: Good for him, bad…VERY BAD for Asuma and Gai.

"Shut up! Now listen well because I'm only going to say this once!" Kurenai scowled making her look three times more dangerous than a woman having a deadly bout of mood swings. Gai and Asuma promptly shut up when they saw her glare at their direction.

"Asuma, Gai, the two of you distract the fan club. Kakashi pick a romantic place to woo Naruto then go there and wait for my signal." Kurenai looked at Kakashi straight in the eye waiting for his answer.

"What signal? And do I have to?" Kakashi almost whined. He was starting to think that their whole situation was really starting to get pathetic.

"Kakashi put a little enthusiasm here will you? But then again we can just leave now and just call it a day and let Naruto's fan club do whatever they had in mind with Naruto which could most likely include groping, mol—"

"Asuma, Gai, be in position. Kurenai, I will be waiting in training ground 5." Kakashi butted in even before Kurenai could finish her guilt trip on Kakashi. There was no way, not even in hell that he would allow any of Naruto's fans to taint his beloved blue-eyed blonde. They would have to face him first and they would realize that he wasn't Hatake Kakashi, a.k.a. Sharingan Kakashi for nothing.

"Training ground 5?" The three other Jounins said in unison.

"Yes." Was Kakashi's straightforward reply as the others blinked owlishly in disbelief at the said jounin.

"Rival Kakashi, can't you be anymore romantic than that?"

"Yeah, I mean, training ground 5? What are you going to do? Challenge him to sparring match? Wait, scratch that, I bet you're going to molest him while pretending to teach him a new jutsu or something."

"Asuma, I really wasn't thinking about that but you've given me a really good idea to get _really_ close and physical with Naruto, you moron! Of course training ground 5! Naruto doesn't hang around that place and we usually train at training ground 12! And it's one of the only places I could think of in an impromptu moment like now aside from my apartment!" Kakashi almost barked at his mouthpiece and then paused when he realized what he had just said. Deathly silence hung around Team Icha-Icha Fox.

A crow passed overhead. _(Insert sound effects please.)_

For a good five seconds everything was quiet between the four of them.

**TING!**

"I didn't just say that to you guys, right?" Kakashi scratched the back of his head as he laughed nervously.

"It's a good thing to know you still have some decency in you Kakashi." Kurenai said, trying to get the highly graphic mental images out of her yaoi-fangirl head at the same tie trying to stop the foreboding nosebleed whilst staring incredulously at the jounin with her.

"So training ground 5 it is. Don't worry, we'll take it from here. Gai, we better make our presence known to Naruto's fan club." Asuma said quickly before Gai could start his speech about youth.

"Okay, so if distracting Naruto's fan club fails, bring him to training ground 5. I'll make a Genjutsu that would make it seem to his fan club that he's still walking around town if that happens." Kurenai said as she shooed Kakashi away as the said man just obliged and headed off to the training grounds while thinking of what to say and do by the time he was alone with Naruto.

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The duo had removed their communicating devices as they approached the still ogling group, they can't help but hear the admiring sighs and feel the adoring aura radiating from them.

"What are you guys doing?" Asuma asked as he and Gai approached them as if they were just passing by.

Random ANBU number 7 and 10 looked up and hushed them to be quiet as they pulled the two to huddle with them.

"Umm… Are you guys on a mission, because if all of you are I don't think the two of us being huddled up with all of you is such a good idea." Gai said as he was shushed by most of the people of the group.

"Yes, we are on a mission, but it's not just any mission." Random jounin number 2 said as she glanced at them.

"Huh?"

"Do you see what we see?" Random jounin number 4 said as he looked back at the blonde.

"Err… An old lady in a spaghetti strapped dress wearing too much make-up?" Asuma said hopefully to distract them long enough so that Kurenai can sneak up on the blonde. All of the members of the fan club suddenly locked on the said woman who was seven stalls away from where Naruto was and blanched at the sight of her.

"Asuma that is just disgusting." said an overly familiar voice.

"Anko?! What are you doing here? Are you with them?" Gai said in surprise.

"Of course."

"Anko, care to explain?" Asuma asked the female jounin.

"We weren't looking at that wrinkly woman! We were looking at that blonde Adonis over there!" Anko said as she placed her hands on top of their heads and turned their heads to the direction where Naruto was currently buying bread.

"It's Naruto-kun." Gai quipped.

"Yes it's Naruto. Isn't he the hottest yet most adorable guy you have ever laid eyes on?" Anko sighed as well as the other ANBU and jounins with them. "I mean, look at him! Windswept sun-kissed blonde hair, shimmering blue eyes that can rival the blue skies, those kissable pouted lips, the golden tanned skin…" And the list went on as Asuma and Gai's mind were suddenly plagued and opened to the world of fan-girlism… The female populace of the shinobi world did start the trend of setting up a Naruto fan club anyway…

As the describing phase went on, it suddenly morphed into a more in-depth discussion on what Naruto could possibly look like if he was dressed in the most sensual and revealing of clothes. Talk about imagination gone wild. As the discussion went on the said group had finally torn their eyes away from their prey as they debated finally giving Kurenai a chance to sneak up on the blonde. However, as she was only a five feet away from the blonde shinobi, Naruto's fans had jumped on the topic of just how sizzling he is and what they would do once they were given a chance.

Unfortunately, they were overheard…by no other than Umino Iruka himself who had happened to pass by. And thus the chase to protect their precious assets had commenced thus causing a commotion making the blue-eyed blonde slip away from Kurenai's grasp.

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"Iruka sure can run. And I can't believe we got into that mess!" Asuma gasped.

"We have to corner Naruto-kun!" Gai exclaimed as he panted for air.

"And how do you propose we do that Gai? We don't even know where the kid is right now, not to mention the almighty mother hen is out for blood."

"You're right." Gai said as he slumped down beside a tree. "But for the record, Naruto sure is looker."

"I agree. I've never given it much thought before but seeing it from the eyes of Naruto's fan club: he sure is too hot for his own good." Asuma said as he lit the cigarette that was dangling between his lips.

And then they felt it…

That dreaded feeling…

That peculiar yet eerie chill that ran up their spine…

The feeling that they should run as fast as they can and hide…

But unfortunately, they were too late…

"You guys…"

The two Jounins nervously craned their necks to look at the person who just spoke. Both paled at the sight of the furious chuunin whose face was 'faintly' picturesque enough for Morino Ibiki to use as interrogation material and was currently emitting an aura that could have definitely made Orochimaru make a run for his money.

"…are…_**UNFORGIVABLE**_!"

And thus, Iruka, the almighty mother hen, with an unmistakable fire in his eyes, started thrashing the two poor Jounins.

**- END of FLASHBACK -**

"So that's why Kakashi wasn't _hanging_ with the two of you…" Kurenai drawled as she shot Kakashi a sly look.

"Kakashi, please tell me you managed to speak to Naruto… Kurenai, tell me that you managed to bring Naruto to Kakashi" Asuma had a look in his eyes that Kakashi and Kurenai couldn't very well describe.

The said jounins sheepishly laughed and scratched the back of their heads. Asuma could only groan.

"Either way, looks like our plan failed but that doesn't mean we're giving up." Gai said enthusiastically. They all wondered if he had too much sugar for breakfast.

"So… What now?" Asuma asked as he tried to nurse some of the bruises on his aching arms. Kakashi of course was still out of ideas so there was really no point in speaking. Then all of a sudden Kurenai snapped her fingers with a mischievous smile on her face.

"I think I know someone who can help us out, most especially _you_, Kakashi." Kurenai finished with giggle that made them flinch in dread.

"_Why do I get the feeling this going to be disaster?"_ Kakashi sighed as Kurenai made him help her drag the other two Jounins to their next destination.

Oh if only Kakashi knew just how right he was…

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**- To Be Continued -**

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**Authoress' Note 2:**

Ku-ku-ku… So, how was it? I know you're just itching to press that review button down there, now go on, don't be shy… Tell me what was running through your head while you were reading this chapter, constructive reviews are most welcome and you can ask me questions and give me ideas as well. My muse would gladly stay up all night to help me update when she sees your reviews.

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**Pakkun:** You guys know the drill! It also helps the _–cough-_ 'in' _–cough-_ sane author update faster.

**Blue:** Huh? Did you say something Pakkun?

**Pakkun:** Nothing Blue-chan. looks at the readers Here are your Oreos, cookies and milk! So review. And I mean NOW!

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	4. Behold, the Godaime Hokage’s Wisdom?

**Warning:** Non-beta-ed, self-checked. So please bear with me and for whatever errors you might encounter.

**PLUS, please read this note before continuing!**

There is a scene here where you readers might feel grossed out. If you know the sci-fi comedy movie "Evolution" starring David Duchovny and Julianne Moore, then it is safe to say that there is a specific scene in that movie I used for this chapter. Or better yet, watch the movie first before you read. Trust me; you would want to see the movie first before you decided to flame me for not warning you.

**Legend:**

'_Hello!'_ – Thoughts

"Hello!" – Thoughts spoken out loud

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**Chapter 3: Behold, the Godaime Hokage's Wisdom?!****—****The Mission of Love**

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* * *

So Plan A and B failed miserably while Plan C, D and E never happened…at all, whatever Plan C, D and E were anyway. 

"Umm, Kurenai, what are we doing here at the Hokage Tower?" Asuma asked, leaning against the wall. "I don't think it's practical to bother Tsunade-sama about our injuries; they're just cuts, scrapes and bruises."

"We could have just gone to the hospital to have our injuries healed." Gai said as he held onto the railing for support.

Kakashi was silent. He didn't dare complain, which was more like he didn't dare say anything that might bite him back in his ass was more precise to say the least so he just stayed quiet and let the two injured men do the talking.

"We're not here to ask Tsunade-sama to have a look at your injuries. We're here because she's the person who's going to help us, or should I say, help _you_ Kakashi."

The men face faulted and sweatdropped at the statement.

"And here I was thinking she was so concerned about the two of you." Kakashi whispered low enough for Asuma and Gai to hear before they were dragged away to the Hokage's office.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Kakashi could swear that he was going to piss in his pants any time soon if the pair of eyes looking at him glared and studied him any harder.

"So… Let me get this straight, _you_ need _my_ help so that Kakashi can woo Naruto." Tsunade said, still not removing her piercing gaze off Kakashi. It was more than a statement rather than a question.

"Yes Tsunade-sama." Kurenai answered.

"Why do you need my help? Why don't you just tell him, Kakashi, so that you wouldn't go all the trouble bothering all of us?" Tsunade said, her gaze never wavering. Kakashi could practically feel that he was being backed down the wall. Heck! His breathing was coming in short as well.

"Um, you see, Tsunade-sama, that's the problem. The poor guy gets tongue tied and with Iruka around… Well, I guess you get the drift." Kurenai explained.

"…Hmm…Hmm… Okay, I get it now." Tsunade then shifted her gaze towards the two injured jounins who were currently being treated by Shizune making Kakashi breathe and sigh in relief. "And what about the two of you?"

"We were the first casualties of war." Asuma said as Shizune bandaged his arm.

"Actually, make that, fortuitous victims of Konoha's renowned mother hen." Kakashi said in hopes to compensate for their pains. Kurenai had to sigh. Shizune and Tsunade sweatdropped, she had heard what happened earlier in the market but didn't actually thought Iruka was that deranged to issue an all-out-war when it comes to protecting Naruto's virtue.

"I think I should promote Iruka to Jounin or better yet, recommend him to join Anko and Ibiki's team." Tsunade said thoughtfully.

"NO!!!" The four jounins chorused with trepidation and horror as they suddenly lunged at the Hokage's desk. To say that the Hokage was surprised at their sudden outburst would be an understatement; she nearly fell off her chair when the four jounins crowded her desk. Anko and Ibiki were insane enough to compensate for the rest of the much needed insanity and madness in Konoha, there was no need for one more. Nevertheless, they couldn't imagine what horror they would form and create out if Iruka if they ever did managed to get their hands on the said chuunin. They all had to suppress a shiver, including Shizune.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Somewhere in Konoha, specifically in Ichiraku's, a certain chuunin sneezed.

"Are you okay Iruka-sensei? I hope you're not catching a cold or anything." Naruto asked in concern.

"I hope not." The chuunin replied as he rubbed his nose.

"Or maybe… Someone's thinking about you…" Ayame cheerfully suggested.

"Or probably talking about you, you're the man Iruka." Teuchi, the owner of Ichiraku teased as he presented his most frequent customers their steaming orders.

Iruka blushed madly at the statement much to his dismay.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

"It was just a thought…" Tsunade said but mentally filed it away for future reference. Oh yes, she was definitely considering her plans for Iruka. She then cleared her throat and continued. "So, anyway, the four of you are here to ask for my help regarding Kakashi's _love problems_ or as I may say his post-adolescent phase."

Kakashi sweatdropped at the comment. Yeah, Tsunade just had to subtly put it that way making the Kurenai, Asuma and Shizune bite back their giggles and making Gai almost explode into one of his spring time of youth speeches but thankfully, Tsunade beat him before Gai could even start.

"Well then, why don't you take missions with Naruto? You can definitely propose to him or if you still get tongue tied, try to at least see if he likes you too."

"Tsunade-sama, pardon me but why can Kakashi just drop hints to Naruto that Kakashi likes him?"

"Asuma, we're talking about the uke of all ukes' here. The most pure, innocent and oblivious of all—"

"Not to mention, adorable, hot and sexy."

"Yes, that too, thank you Kurenai. Anything more subtle or straight to the point would result to failure. That is why I'm assigning the four of you with a couple missions along with Naruto."

"Why do you need the four of us to do this?" Kakashi asked, voicing out the thoughts of the other three jounins.

"Its either that or you have Iruka tag along with you and Naruto." Tsunade grinned sadistically.

"The things you have to do for love Kakashi." Kurenai patted his shoulder.

"I wouldn't mind assigning just the two of you with a couple of missions but knowing your current predicament, there's no way you'd accomplish what you're trying to achieve especially with his fan club around who would most likely try to ruin every moment not to mention probably hang you upside down naked from the Hokage monument or worse."

Kakashi paled considerably at the said statement and mentally cried as to why it had to be so difficult.

"I know what you're thinking Kakashi, but it can't be helped. Besides, ever since _that_ incident, Konoha had never been the same again." Tsunade said as she placed her chin on top of her intertwined fingers.

It was five months(1) after Naruto had returned from his training with Jiraiya when the villagers no longer saw Naruto as the Nine-Tailed Demon Vessel nor do they even call him a monster. They had given the blonde haired shinobi the much earned respect after he had defended it through thick and thin against Orochimaru's invading forces the second time around. They were so ashamed of themselves when Tsunade bitch slapped all of them when Naruto was brought in almost half dead by his ANBU group who were gently holding him and protecting him as if he was ready to fall apart if he was carried the wrong way. They were need not to be told of what Naruto did for them that fateful day for all of them had seen what happened with their own eyes when Naruto sacrificed himself just to bring down and stop the Snake Sannin's delusions.

It was also during that time when Kakashi realized his feelings for Naruto. He had never been so scared in his life. The thought that he would no longer see the Naruto's smiling face made the warning bells in Kakashi's head ring like a dozen of alarm clocks going off at the same time. Ever since that day, he had made sure that he would protect Naruto and at least try to tell him how he felt. But ever since that incident, Naruto had earned his very own fan club which consisted of civilian and shinobi alike much to his dismay and additional dilemma.

Tsunade saw the worry and pain that flashed briefly in Kakashi's eyes. She was well aware of what was going through the silver-haired jounin's head. She had given the said jounin a piece of her mind before hand that if he even dare hurt or make Naruto cry, he was most certain to become a eunuch and afterwards wished him well with his own personal mission knowing that Kakashi wasn't that bad to hurt her gaki.

"Don't worry. The missions would be simple D-rank missions. Nothing life threatening so there's no need to geared for battle." Tsunade smiled.

The four of them somehow heaved a sigh if relief, especially Kakashi. After all, with D-rank missions what could _possibly_ go wrong?

- - - - - - - - - - - -

The next day, Naruto was informed of the missions he was about to take along with the four other jounins. Of course, this was met with a truck load of pouting and whining much to Tsunade's amusement and utter annoyance.

"Tsunade-nee-chan, I'm already a jounin! Why are you giving me D-rank missions instead of A or B?!" Naruto complained.

"It can't be helped Naruto, besides, someone needs to do them."

"Then why don't you let Konohamaru or other genin teams do it?"

"Because, some of the missions, or should I say, the ones who commissioned for the mission specifically requested you." Tsunade said. She was somewhat surprised when the people who placed the request asked for Naruto to do the complete the task at hand. Tsunade had asked them why and their reply was simply: 'Naruto-kun exudes such a cheerful aura and we know that he does a task with complete and utmost care and priority'. The said statement made Tsunade's heart swell with pride for Naruto.

"But why me?!" Naruto demanded.

"Just go and do it, besides, Kakashi, Asuma, Kurenai and Gai are taking the same mission with you so stop complaining. I already informed them of the situation and they gladly accepted. Now go and meet them in the mission room."

Naruto harrumphed as he turned his heel to leave. "Maybe I should just call you 'baa-chan' again. You're going senile." Naruto mumbled as he opened the door. Luckily for him he was able to close the door quickly before the projectile that Tsunade hurled hit him in the back of his head.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Their first mission was to do baby-sitting for the Suzuki couple. The wife of Suzuki Iba-san, Michiko, had just given birth to quintuplets [2 six months ago and the couple had requested for five able ninjas to baby-sit for their children, and they had specifically requested Naruto to be one of them. Ah, just what a coincidence it is…

"Naruto-kun!" Michiko squealed in delight the moment she saw the blonde shinobi. "You have no idea how grateful we are to have you look after the little tykes!"

"It's nothing Michiko-san. I enjoy looking out for them. Where are you two headed anyway?" Naruto wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at them making the couple blush.

"Naruto, it's not what you think. Hokage-sama gave us a mission and it just so happens that our parents are in Spring Country doing whatever Kami-sama knows." Iba supplied.

"You needn't say it Iba-san." Naruto said suddenly looking nauseous.

"Yeah. You could've just said they were on vacation." Asuma piped in making their presence known to the couple.

"Now that the five of us are already here, why don't you two get going so you can finish your mission on time?" Kurenai smiled.

"Oh yes. Naruto-kun, the babies are upstairs, and everything else including milk, feeding bottles, baby food, diapers and extra clothing are where they usually are. We'll be away for two an hour the least, ja ne(3)!" And with that the couple left in a blink of an eye leaving the remaining jounins disappeared at their wake. And with that, Naruto proceeded upstairs to check the quintuplets. The four other jounins were somewhat surprised that Naruto knew where he was going.

"Naruto-kun, just how many times have you done baby-sitting for them?"

"Umm… I think this is my 15th time to look after them." Naruto mused as he disappeared up the stairs. The four jounins were surprised to say the least. No wonder the couple had specifically requested him, but one thing still bothered them though, was Naruto really good at taking care of kids, most especially six month old babies? And the answer was served to them on silver plate when they followed him up the stairs.

"Bless him…" Kurenai said when she saw Naruto holding one of the babies in his arm.

"Take off his shirt and would be a picture perfect moment." Asuma commented. Naruto's expression was soft and most angelic; he was currently cradling the youngest of the babies in his left arm and holding the feeding bottle with his right hand. Naruto just didn't know how he looked so feminine that moment. It would put shame on all the women in Konoha.

"Do you think the couple has a camera here somewhere?" Gai said.

"Do you guys have a death wish or something?" Kakashi said as he looked at the picture perfect scene in front of them.

"Why Kakashi, don't you want to keep a picture?"

"I would like to if not for the fact that the said picture would also reach his fans. That I would rather not risk. And besides, if the mother hen finds out…"

"Enough said. We'll just burn this in our memories." Asuma said as all of them nodded in agreement.

"You guys can make yourselves useful by feeding the other babies since I only have a pair of arms." Naruto said while smiling serenely at baby in his arms. The four jounins took another moment to burn another photographic memory of Naruto before they did their share of babysitting tasks. The three men thought that this would be a piece of cake since Naruto seems to be breezing through the task as if it were a normal everyday task. But of course, babysitting was not as easy as it seems and this became a proven fact when the babies did what they were best known for…

Asuma took baby #2. The baby stared at him and he stared back. It went on for a minute or two and before they knew it, the baby bawled its lungs out.

"Asuma what did you do?!"

"I was just holding him up! I swear I didn't do anything!"

"Try holding him close to you and bounce him gently a couple of times." Naruto suggested.

"Excuse me?" Asuma raised a brow at Naruto as the said blonde shook his head and demonstrated.

"It's just like dancing. Didn't you take care of Konohamaru when he was still a baby?"

"Unfortunately, I was always away on a mission and whenever I did get to see my nephew he was always sitting on my lap or I was helping with feeding him baby food."

"Have you ever seen your sister bounce Konohamaru when he was a baby?"

"…" And thus Asuma began to bounce the baby gently and the bawling subsided.

Baby #3 was a different story. It seemed to have found a morbid fascination for Kakashi's silver locks, pulling and tugging it whenever her little fingers managed to grab a fistful. It also seemed to be highly intrigued with Kakashi's mask, not to mention, it had a habit of biting, this it became the baby #2's mission to try to bite Kakashi's nose thinking that it was a pacifier. Feeding the said baby was also an experience Kakashi would never forget.

Naruto had asked him feed the baby with some apple-peach sauce that was kept in the fridge in the kitchen since the baby #2 favored it above anything else aside from milk. So here he was, doing the ultra fun and patience eating task of spoon feeding the baby.

"Open wide, here comes the choo-choo train!" Kakashi said in a sing-song voice. It made the baby giggle and reach put for the spoon, once those chubby hands reached the plastic spoon, Kakashi, out of pure reflex pulled the spoon away. However, the baby's grip on the spoon was a bit tight, thus making the spoon recoil a bit within Kakashi's grasp and the contents of the spoon landed straight across his face.

"Listen chibi, no playing with your food." Kakashi said as he wiped the sauce from his face using the apron he was wearing. The baby of course, not understanding anything at all, continued reach for the spoon...

When the four other jounins entered the kitchen, they were greeted with a sight they would never forget.

"Let me guess, food fight?" Naruto asked as he tried to hold back his laughter along with Gai, Asuma and Kurenai. The four of them didn't dare laugh for the fact that, one, they each had a baby in their arm, two, and they didn't want to piss Kakashi any further than he already was.

"…Hai…food fight." Kakashi said monotonously. He was wearing an apron stained with baby food and said baby food was stuck in his hair.

Baby #4 was a very agreeable baby. It adored Kurenai and she adored the little bundle back, no problem at all…

And finally, there was baby #5. Gai with his overflowing youthful energy didn't seem to sit well with the baby, after all, children less than four feet tall aren't allowed to ride roller coasters. Gai was bouncing the baby too much while patting its back gently, trying to get the baby to burp after he had fed it. What he didn't know that some children were prone to motion sickness and Gai's overflowing activeness was enough to make the said baby throw up its breakfast like a fountain all over Gai.

- - - - - - - - - - -

"Tsunade-sama, do you think there will be progress between those two? I mean, with Kakashi and all?" Shizune asked as she handed papers to Tsunade to sign.

"We can only hope for the best. If not, then that could only mean that we have to help the poor jounin with his so-called _love life_. Other than that, we have to keep Iruka at bay."

"You sound like you're opting for Kakashi to really win Naruto-kun's affections."

"Better Kakashi than those other morons. At least Kakashi is sensible enough to know that he had better commit seppuku than mess around with my brat. Besides if he wasn't serious with Naruto in the first place, he wouldn't be in such a predicament as he is right now." Tsunade rationalized. Shizune realized that Tsunade was correct.

"I guess you're right Tsunade-sama. So what did you have in mind just in case we have to help out?"

Tsunade paused from reading the document to think.

"I heard Genma is trying to court Iruka, is it true?" Tsunade asked her assistant.

"Hai, unfortunately though, Iruka is just as dense as Naruto when it comes to his own love life, however he becomes overly protective when it comes to Naruto's well-being."

Tsunade sweatdropped, at least now she knew where Naruto got his naïve nature. Then an idea struck her, as a sinister smile crept up on her features as she chuckled with glee. "Shizune, you agree with me when I say that if we're going to help with Kakashi's love life, we have to help Genma as well don't you think?"

"What do you have in mind, Tsunade-sama?"

- - - - - - - - - - -

In the teacher's lounge, Iruka was busy checking papers when he sneezed for the nth time that day.

"Yo, Iruka, why don't you go and stop by the infirmary? That's the 20th time you've sneezed in the past hour." Raidou said as he looked Iruka with worry written on his face.

"Nah, I don't think it's even possible for Iruka-san to get sick, someone's probably thinking and talking about him. He probably has some secret admirers of his own." Inuzuka Hana commented making the said chuunin blush.

"I don't think that's possible!" Iruka said as he tried to hide his embarrassment, which was then when he sneezed again. Izumo then approached him and placed the back of his hand against Iruka's neck to check for his temperature.

"You don't seem to have a fever since your temperature is fine so it's probably the latter." Izumo quipped. Just as those words slipped out of Izumo's lips Genma entered the lounge in all his glory. He immediately took notice of Izumo's hand on Iruka's neck and quickly strode over to them.

"What's wrong Iruka? Are you not feeling well?" Genma asked as he _'gently'_ pushed, more like shoved, Izumo out of the way and casually took one of Iruka's hands in his. Iruka blushed harder at the sudden gesture.

"Anou..." Raidou began but was cut off when Genma spoke again and placed his own hand against Iruka's neck.

"Why are you so flushed? You seem hot. Let me take you to the infirmary, we wouldn't want one of our best teachers suddenly falling ill!" And then Genma suddenly carried Iruka in his arms bridal style as Ibiki entered the lounge and was surprised to see the scene in front of him.

"Hello Ibiki-san! Excuse us, I need to make sure my little dolph—I mean Iruka feels better." Genma said as he rushed off to the direction of the infirmary, Ibiki and the rest of the chuunin in the lounge sweatdropped at the events that unfolded in front of their eyes.

"Wait! Put me down! I'm fine and I can walk! Oi, Genma, I said put me down!" And the rest of the chuunin's protests were blurred as they got farther away.

"Anyone care to explain what just happened?" Ibiki asked.

"Where do you want us to start?" Hana asked as she tried to keep her giggles at bay. She had a very good idea what was going on.

"The beginning is usually a good place to start." Ibiki said. He curious to know what the hell just happened a few moments ago as he made a cup of coffee and sat in one of the available chairs. _'Besides, Godaime Hokage-sama might want to hear any new developments with her shinobi.'_ Ibiki thought to himself.

- - - - - - - - - - -

"Gai, I'm sure that the "spring time of youth" doesn't smell like a pair of socks begging to have a date with the Laundromat." Kurenai deadpanned as she inched away from Gai as she tried her best not to wrinkle her nose in disgust.

"Huh?"

"You stink. Go home Gai, and change into some fresh smelling spandex, better yet, take a quick shower too." Asuma said. He was already nauseous and looked like he was about to faint any minute due to lack of fresh air.

"And don't worry, we'll wait for you." Kakashi said. Even his mask couldn't block out the nauseating smell.

That was the only time Gai realized that he indeed smelled no better than a pair of socks that has been worn for the past two weeks. Talk about eeww...

"You're right. I'll be back in 20 minutes. Let's meet at the Dango shop(4)." Gai said before he ran towards his apartment. After he was out of sight, the three remaining jounins heaved a breath of relief and fresh air. They had suffered an excruciating hour with Gai and his new 'perfume' as they patiently did their baby-sitting mission. Thankfully, the Suzuki couple came back earlier than expected, relieving them of their burden. The three jounins waited for Naruto as he said goodbye to the couple.

"Thanks again, Naruto-kun!" Michiko said as she saw Naruto to the door.

"It was nothing Michiko-san. I always do enjoy looking after the babies. We'll be going now, see you!" Naruto said with an angelic smile making Kurenai's and Michiko's inner fangirl squeal with delight. As Naruto reached the other three jounins he asked about Gai's whereabouts.

"I see, let's go to that dango shop then and grab something to eat while we wait for Gejimayu-sensei(5)." Naruto suggested.

"Good idea, but don't you want to get some ramen instead?" Kurenai asked, knowing that Naruto was a ramen lover.

"Maybe later, besides, we wouldn't want Gejimayu-sensei bawling his lungs out looking for us because we're late." Naruto replied as he began to tread towards the direction of the dango shop. The three jounins were surprised at Naruto's perceptiveness. They quickly fell into stride with Naruto.

"Say, Naruto, if you were the one baby-sitting those babies, how did you manage? Were you assigned with a couple of genins?" Asuma inquired.

"Nope, I just used Kage Bunshin. Works wonders all the time." Naruto said nonchalantly leaving the three jounins flabbergasted. Why didn't they thought of it earlier, we'll never know.

Kurenai and Naruto were chatting merrily whilst Kakashi and Asuma were in awe how those two suddenly just clicked like girlfriends. They had just finished their first mission yet Asuma and Kakashi felt like they had been battling a group of highly trained shinobis.

Asuma then whispered something to Kakashi, "I just noticed, but Naruto looks like he's still got lots of energy for the rest of the day."

"Naruto just has amazing stamina. You would be surprised to know that he's at par with Rock Lee in that department or maybe even more." Kakashi whispered back.

"I see." Asuma paused, thinking for a moment before whispering something back. "Do you think you can keep up with him then? Bedroom wise, that is." Asuma teased making Kakashi choke on air and hitting Asuma on the back of head.

"If Kurenai hears you she's going to make you her slave." Kakashi said, knowing full well that Asuma was straight as a nail and that Naruto was safe from the bearded man.

The moment they arrived at the dango shop they ordered a simple meal set and some green tea while they waited for Gai to arrive. The moment Gai arrived they told him to order something to eat since their next D-class mission might take the majority of the day.

Once they had eaten, they proceeded to the farm outside the walls of Konoha to help a farmer with planting rice on the field since his four sons had gotten sick.

"Naruto-kun, it's so good to see you again! Thank you so much for helping me out today. I don't know when my sons would get better to help me with planting the rice on the field." The old farmer said.

"_What did the old man mean by 'again'? Just how many times have Naruto helped the villagers?"_ Was the current train of thought in the other jounins' minds.

"It's nothing gramps. Where should we start?" Naruto cheerfully said.

"All of you can start with the rice field over there." The old man said as he demonstrated how to properly plant the rice seedlings to the four jounins, whilst Naruto headed off to one of the prepared rice paddies. "And I should warn you," the old farmer said, addressing the four jounins. "There are giant leeches in the rice paddies, just so you know."

The four jounins looked at the rice field where Naruto already began to plant, that was when they noticed the giant leeches jumping out of muddy waters like carps jumping out of a pond. They watched how Naruto swatted them away like it was a normal everyday occurrence.

"I think it would be better if we begin if we want to get anything done. Kakashi, why don't you plant those rice seedlings next to the paddy Naruto is working on?" Kurenai suggested and winked at Kakashi as he began to remove his sandals and roll up his pant legs.

Not 30 minutes into planting the rice seedlings, the four other jounins felt like horses that swished their tails in attempt to swat away the flies hovering over their asses. Not to mention, they've been watching each other's backs just in case a flying leech got the better of them...

"This D-class mission feels like a B-class mission to me." Asuma mumbled.

"Think of it this way, we're fending off incompetent enemy shinobis trying to steal an important and highly classified scroll from us!" Gai exclaimed; Asuma Kurenai and Kakashi sweatdropped at the statement.

"Gai, what you said is basically almost the same to Asuma's comment." Kurenai said as she continued her job as she swatted a dozen more leeches flying towards her.

"But still, a mission like this reminds us that the power of youth runs through our veins!"

"Yare, yare." Asuma said as he stretched his back. In the corner of his eye, he saw a giant leech crawling towards the general direction of Kakashi's leg. He noticed that Kakashi wasn't aware of the leech nearing his exposed right leg and so Asuma quickly fished for a kunai and threw it at Kakashi, to be more precise, Asuma aimed for the leech.

"Kakashi, watch out!" Naruto warned the silver-haired jounin not too far from him when he saw the kunai from the corner of his eye.

Kakashi, upon hearing the warning, wasn't able to dodge completely. The sharp kunai managed to give him a half an inch cut on his right leg.

"Oh my god, Kakashi, I'm so sorry!" Asuma called out as he jogged towards his injured comrade.

"Asuma, what the hell do you think you're doing?!" Kakashi berated.

"I was aiming for the leech! I thought you would dodge it!" Asuma said in his defense.

"What happened? What's wrong?" Kurenai asked as she neared the three men.

"I threw a kunai at Kakashi's direction since there was a leech that was near his leg. I thought he would be able to dodge it."

"You could have just called out for his attention." Gai said.

"Kakashi, why don't you clean and wrap up your wound first before it gets infected." Worry laced Naruto's voice as he approached Kakashi. The three other jounins noticed this and smiled inwardly. At least Naruto was worried for Kakashi's sake. Kakashi _almost _blushed at Naruto and felt like his stomach was doing back flips.

Unbeknown to them, the aberrant leech which was supposed to be Asuma's target leapt out of the muddy waters and quickly attached itself on the open would on Kakashi's leg. Kakashi suddenly jumped out of the muddy water and landed on the dry partition which divided the rice paddies. The five jounins quickly turned their eyes to look at the source of the flapping noise. To their surprise they saw the leech trying to worm its way on Kakashi's leg through the wound. Before they could move to remove the offending leech from Kakashi's leg, the leech managed to squeeze itself and entered Kakashi's leg.

"OH MY GOD! HELP ME! GET IT OUT!" Kakashi screamed as he shook his right leg while jumping up and down like an idiot.

"Calm down and stay put! How can we get it out if keep you on moving!" Asuma frantically called out to Kakashi.

"I think it would be better if we bring him to Tsunade-sama!" Kurenai said as she and Gai got out of the muddy water.

"It's moving! It's moving up!" Kakashi screamed. Asuma quickly got hold of Kakashi and steadied him as he took out a roll of cloth bandage out of his hip bag and tied it around Kakashi's thigh.

"Its best of you guys go the hospital Kurenai-sensei, you go on ahead while I finish up with this mission and catch up with you in the hospital after I'm done here." Naruto said as he whipped up five more shadow clones to help him. Kurenai nodded as she went of the three men to warn Tsunade while the other two men quickly brought Kakashi to the hospital.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

"Where's Tsunade-sama?! We need her quick! This is an emergency!" Kurenai exclaimed as the four of them appeared in the ER of the village hospital. Lucky for them, Tsunade was currently making her rounds in the said hospital along with Shizune.

"What's wrong? What happened to Kakashi? Were you guys attacked?" Tsunade asked as she ordered Asuma and Gai to place Kakashi on an available bed.

"No, Tsunade-sama, its Kakashi, he accidentally got injured while we were—" Kurenai said but was cut off by Asuma.

"There's a giant leech in Kakashi's leg!" Asuma exclaimed as he and Gai moved out of Tsunade's way.

"How the hell did a giant leech get in to your leg?!" Tsunade exclaimed as she tried to contain the fast moving, blood sucking leech that was venturing its way up Kakashi's leg.(6)

"Get it out! Get it out!" Kakashi yelled as he tried to flail his right leg. Kakashi tried to sit up but was forcefully shoved back down by Tsunade as she removed the tightly wound up bandage around Kakashi's thigh. They saw slight movement around Kakashi's knee area and tried to contain the moving leech.

"Tsunade-sama, we have to cut off his leg, we can't contain it." Shizune said.

"No! Don't you dare cut the leg! Just get it out! GET IT OUT!" Kakashi was getting frantic by the second. Sure, he was known to keep his cool when it comes to accomplishing S-rank missions and the likes, getting cuts and bruises were just like a walk in the park in terms of enemy shinobi encounters. But this one was different!

"It's moving up!" And then an idea popped up Tsunade's head. "We can get it out through his rectum! Hand me the forceps, we're going to pull it out from there!"

If one were to look at the whole situation, that person could tell that there was a manic glee twinkling in the eyes of the medical shinobi present in the room along with the devilish grin that was almost splitting their faces in half.

"Oh no, no, no! Don't you dare! Just cut the leg! Cut the leg! Cut the leg!"

And Kakashi was flipped down to his stomach leaving no room for his desperate cries as his pants were pulled down along with his underwear, exposing his pale ass to the much eager eyes of the Godaime and Shizune along with three more nurses who were assisting. It was also then when the forceps were unceremoniously shoved up his ass making Kakashi scream and cry in agony. Whatever color that was left in the men's faces was drained. And to think, Kakashi wasn't even prepared…

Tsunade had successfully managed to pull out the damned, abhorred, giant blood-sucking leech that managed to 'leech' its way up Kakashi's leg and had the nurses destroy the vile thing. After that, Tsunade barked orders to the nurses who scuttled in a flash and pushed Kakashi out of the emergency room with Gai and Asuma following their tails.

"Kakashi do you need anything? We'll get you anything you want." Asuma asked as he and Gai jogged along side the stretcher where the slightly immobile jounin who was still wincing in pain.

"Ice cream…I want ice cream…" Kakashi winced.

"Okay, ice cream, what flavor?"

"It doesn't matter… It's for my ass…" And Kakashi buried his head back in the pillows and suddenly grabbed the Asuma's vest making bring his face close to his, "Not a word Asuma…not one single word or I swear that you're gonna get it! The same goes to you Gai!" Kakashi snarled and let go of the jounin's vest as he was wheeled away for further treatment.

"Do you think he's going to be okay?" Gai asked in all seriousness.

"Physically, yeah... Mentally and emotionally, we can only hope he doesn't go through any more torture..." Asuma answered sympathetically.

Asuma could only hope, for the heavens have something else in mind.

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******- To Be Continued -**

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******Authoress' Notes:**

Sorry for the late update. I had problems writing the farm scene. I was thinking of splitting this chapter in to two parts since it was too long (6000 words), but in the end, I decided against it. Anyone care to share their ideas for the next chapter?

And I would like to thank those who reviewed! All of you really made my day and gave me so much energy to make this chapter. You guys know who you are. Again, thanks! I'm even surprised on how one of the reviewers guessed what would happen to Kakashi. You know, being confined in the hospital and all. Pakkun finally makes his appearance on the next chapter. And those who have been asking for a bit of Genma/Iruka action, there you have it!

So now, it's time to review! I'm running out of ideas and I know you guys are itching to press that button down there so don't be shy and just do it. Give me and Pakkun some love! Pakkun needs it and my typing fingers are out of fuel… Until then, my darlings!

******Pakkun:** You guys know the drill. Here are your cookies, Oreos and milk. So review…NOW! I might even be considerate enough to let you touch my paw, it's soft and bouncy!

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******Footnotes:**

1 Naruto is fifteen during this time and Sasuke-teme never joined Orochimaru.

2 Quintuplets – kind of like twins or triplets the only thing is that there are five of them.

3 Ja ne! – Literally means "See you soon!"

4 Does anyone know the name of that shop?

5 Literally means "Master Thick Eyebrows". For those who don't know, this is how Naruto usually addresses Gai.

6 If any of you have watched the film EVOLUTION starring David Duchovny, etc. then you'll know this specific scene.


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